Jenn in her CIA whites.
Posted by Hello
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Palm Sunday
Last year, all the Brooklyn family that could make it came over for dinner. It was our first family event. I was married, had a house, two cats and a dog and suddenly I was hosting a holiday dinner. How the hell did this happen? Despite my misgivings, I managed a ham, pork roast and garlic roasted potatoes along with some appetizers. Dinner was a success and everyone had a good noisy time. People just stayed at our huge dining room table and ate and joked and laughed.
So one year ago I was in my kitchen with my sister by my side to guide and supervise me. We laughed, talked about food and just were together. It was great. It was moments like that that made me want to go to the FCI and somehow, eventually, work together. What a difference a year makes. This Palm Sunday she's gone and I'm sick with some sort of cold / sinus infection and cooking is something I tend to avoid these days. I guess its part self punishment and part pain avoidance. If I just make eggs I want to go to cooking school and all it takes is that bit of cooking to make me think of Jenn and her missed opportunities. She knew I wanted to go, but I know she also felt that the reality of the industry might be too much what with the low starting salary and tough hours. It takes a lot of sacrifice to be a chef. If you want to learn more about it, read Making of a Chef: Mastering Heat at the Culinary Institute of America. There is one incident in the book I am indirectly involved in - back in 1996 there was one hella blizzard and the author describes trying to get to class from Poughkeepsie to Hyde Park. At the same time back then I was trying to make it from Hartsdale to Peekskill. A 20 min trip to 4hours that night. The author actually gets taken to task for not showing up to class in a blizzard that had already dumped around 4 feet of snow. That's the type of industry it is and that's the expectation. Jenn excelled there. She'd found her calling. That's more than I can say.
Anyway, this week is a week of healing and redemption and mercy and though my faith is hardly what it once was I find myself humbled and praying for her.
So one year ago I was in my kitchen with my sister by my side to guide and supervise me. We laughed, talked about food and just were together. It was great. It was moments like that that made me want to go to the FCI and somehow, eventually, work together. What a difference a year makes. This Palm Sunday she's gone and I'm sick with some sort of cold / sinus infection and cooking is something I tend to avoid these days. I guess its part self punishment and part pain avoidance. If I just make eggs I want to go to cooking school and all it takes is that bit of cooking to make me think of Jenn and her missed opportunities. She knew I wanted to go, but I know she also felt that the reality of the industry might be too much what with the low starting salary and tough hours. It takes a lot of sacrifice to be a chef. If you want to learn more about it, read Making of a Chef: Mastering Heat at the Culinary Institute of America. There is one incident in the book I am indirectly involved in - back in 1996 there was one hella blizzard and the author describes trying to get to class from Poughkeepsie to Hyde Park. At the same time back then I was trying to make it from Hartsdale to Peekskill. A 20 min trip to 4hours that night. The author actually gets taken to task for not showing up to class in a blizzard that had already dumped around 4 feet of snow. That's the type of industry it is and that's the expectation. Jenn excelled there. She'd found her calling. That's more than I can say.
Anyway, this week is a week of healing and redemption and mercy and though my faith is hardly what it once was I find myself humbled and praying for her.
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Strat and The Ultimate Fighter
I was at Sfumato's last night to play our first Strat series . We lost, 3 games to 4 but all things considered it was a good showing. Our team is crap and we have to manage each game like a World Series game in order to give ourselves a chance. If we even come close to contending, the season will be a brilliant success. More than the game though, I enjoy hanging out with Sfumato. Strat is merely an excuse to get together and BS and just put life on hold for few hours and concentrate on weighty issues like whether to bring in Bruce Chen or play Alex Sanchez in CF against a lefty or consider the merits of bunting with Matt Lawton.
After the series was over we BS'd about a few things for a while - a long while actually. Long enough to catch the midnite showing of the Ultimate Fighter on Spike.
I have two comments on the episode:
After the series was over we BS'd about a few things for a while - a long while actually. Long enough to catch the midnite showing of the Ultimate Fighter on Spike.
I have two comments on the episode:
- Sam needs to get whacked around. Granted, editing can make anyone look bad on camera, but even so.... Sam has to get a beat down. That fake smile fake good guy look of his grates on me.
- I'm still amazed how fast the tide can turn in one of these fights. Underdog Beard Guy came out throwing and opened a nice cut on Bald Crazy Guy but could not capitalize on it. If he had managed to go down in the center of the octogon or been able to throw some more strikes at that big cut, things might have turned out better for him. Instead he got taken down, put into side control and mounted in a hearbeat. Then the pummeling begins. It just goes to reinforce the scoring sytem in BJJ - the mount is a good place to be in a real fight.
Misery
I'm sick and I'm freaking miserable. My right eye and nostril are running like finely tuned high performance Italian engines. Just the right side though. The left eye and nostril live now in constant fear wondering when the germ gestapo is going to bang the door down. Trapped they sit there and quiver in fear.
The dastardly sickness started creeping up on Friday afternoon. By the evening it was looking to get a superior position and score some points before trying to sink in a wicked face flood hold. No sleep last night except for maybe 30 min here and 30 min there. Things really started to look great when my tissues were pink with blood around 3:45AM.
Oh yeah - this is great. Love it.
The dastardly sickness started creeping up on Friday afternoon. By the evening it was looking to get a superior position and score some points before trying to sink in a wicked face flood hold. No sleep last night except for maybe 30 min here and 30 min there. Things really started to look great when my tissues were pink with blood around 3:45AM.
Oh yeah - this is great. Love it.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Jedi Philosophy and CSS Image Replacement
About two hours ago I hung up on a friend. Just clicked end because I was pissed off and frustrated.
Did he bang my wife? Drink my liquor? Wreck my car? Steal my stereo? Tell me I was a amoral crazed libertine? Were we arguing over social security? The Iraq war?
Nope.
The crux of the debate centered around CSS image replacement techniques. Yeah -- "What the hell is that?" you might be thinking. Well its a geek thing and the argument we had / are having is about as divided as you can get. Like North Vs. South divided. It might seem stupid outside of IT, but you should just see how hostile things can get between say, an open source unix guy and well, anyone not using that platform. It gets ugly folks. Who knew, right?
We (my friend and I) just see things differently. There really is no right or wrong - its what works for you and what works for your clients. Still though, I get tired of having to defend shit. Every new technique that comes out on the web is not a hack. Not all old techniques are hacks either but time and progress does march on.
I guess my problem stems from the word hack - to me it has a derogatory connotation. I prefer the terms "method" or solution for my side of things. My buddy views image replacement techniques as a hack because he thinks they use the background property in CSS for a purpose other than which it was intended, namely to display an image which itself displays text or something like Britney Spears in a see through top or some such. A background, he thinks, should be just that, an abstract thing sitting behind the element like a color or a gradient pattern. If it has meaning of somesort, he wants it in an image tag. If its a spacer GIF, that's ok too. Moreover he sees it as hypocritical - because the same crowd, in general, that espouses this technique as capital G Good, and which he sees as a hack, decries the use of tables for anything other than a debit credit ledger or a phone list. See, tables were not meant to be layout elements, but people adapted them to it. Now people are using the background of elements to do funny things with image replacement and that's just crazy talk.
Me, I'm a bit of a tech crow. I like shiny sites. I like nice fonts and good design and clean crisp images and strong use of photography (within limits of the site objective, of course). To me the image replacement techniques are great. You get to have your cake and eat it too. In the end the site looks better, is accessible and indexable. Win Win Win. Moreover I like things modularized. I like the idea of markup that is ready to go anywhere and can be styled however it needs to be and still stay presentation free.
Still though, its a silly thing to be getting into a fight with a friend with. Of course, I really don't think he even thought we were having a fight. He wasn't. Me on the other hand...I was., I was just getting more and more pissed off and frustrated. Frustration leads to anger and anger leads to the Dark Side and bad dialogue that sounds like it was translated to German and back to English. Silly Silly.
Side bar -
Other 'hacks" (usage of something for other than what it was intended):
Ultimately, it seems man just does what he can with what he's got and we all do the best we can. What more can we ask of ourselves?
Did he bang my wife? Drink my liquor? Wreck my car? Steal my stereo? Tell me I was a amoral crazed libertine? Were we arguing over social security? The Iraq war?
Nope.
The crux of the debate centered around CSS image replacement techniques. Yeah -- "What the hell is that?" you might be thinking. Well its a geek thing and the argument we had / are having is about as divided as you can get. Like North Vs. South divided. It might seem stupid outside of IT, but you should just see how hostile things can get between say, an open source unix guy and well, anyone not using that platform. It gets ugly folks. Who knew, right?
We (my friend and I) just see things differently. There really is no right or wrong - its what works for you and what works for your clients. Still though, I get tired of having to defend shit. Every new technique that comes out on the web is not a hack. Not all old techniques are hacks either but time and progress does march on.
I guess my problem stems from the word hack - to me it has a derogatory connotation. I prefer the terms "method" or solution for my side of things. My buddy views image replacement techniques as a hack because he thinks they use the background property in CSS for a purpose other than which it was intended, namely to display an image which itself displays text or something like Britney Spears in a see through top or some such. A background, he thinks, should be just that, an abstract thing sitting behind the element like a color or a gradient pattern. If it has meaning of somesort, he wants it in an image tag. If its a spacer GIF, that's ok too. Moreover he sees it as hypocritical - because the same crowd, in general, that espouses this technique as capital G Good, and which he sees as a hack, decries the use of tables for anything other than a debit credit ledger or a phone list. See, tables were not meant to be layout elements, but people adapted them to it. Now people are using the background of elements to do funny things with image replacement and that's just crazy talk.
Me, I'm a bit of a tech crow. I like shiny sites. I like nice fonts and good design and clean crisp images and strong use of photography (within limits of the site objective, of course). To me the image replacement techniques are great. You get to have your cake and eat it too. In the end the site looks better, is accessible and indexable. Win Win Win. Moreover I like things modularized. I like the idea of markup that is ready to go anywhere and can be styled however it needs to be and still stay presentation free.
Still though, its a silly thing to be getting into a fight with a friend with. Of course, I really don't think he even thought we were having a fight. He wasn't. Me on the other hand...I was., I was just getting more and more pissed off and frustrated. Frustration leads to anger and anger leads to the Dark Side and bad dialogue that sounds like it was translated to German and back to English. Silly Silly.
Side bar -
Other 'hacks" (usage of something for other than what it was intended):
- The Wright Brothers Airflow Technique (man was not meant to fly -- but we do FALL really well)
- The Cousteau Drowning Negation Method (we do drown very well)
- The Commuter Lap Beverage Implementation (hey look a place for this 200 degree cup of coffee!)
- The Angry Wife Rolling Pin / Frying Pan Kinetic Solution (eh heh).
Ultimately, it seems man just does what he can with what he's got and we all do the best we can. What more can we ask of ourselves?
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
On the mat
3 keylocks and an armbar for submissions tonight. Granted the guy is newer than me and has been missing class lately too. He's strong though, and close to me in weight.
What the hell though. For now, I'll take it. Its when I start holding my own / submitting most of the other white belts that I'll be ready to test for Blue. Its not happening yet -- but barring another injury that time is right around the corner. I'm feeling my Wheaties.
What the hell though. For now, I'll take it. Its when I start holding my own / submitting most of the other white belts that I'll be ready to test for Blue. Its not happening yet -- but barring another injury that time is right around the corner. I'm feeling my Wheaties.
The Token Boarder
I took up snowboarding about 4 years ago after a long respite from winter sports. In my younger years as a pre-teen and teen I skied fairly often and with pretty decent finesse. Of course, having family on the ski patrol to teach me and follow down the mountain really helped. To me skiing was always a lot like skating but with just really long skates. But at some point I just lost interest and stopped. From about 20 or so to 33 there was no skiing and no snowboarding. So typical of me to stop something like that.
Anyhoo - fat and out of shape I just decided to give it a try. Plus I needed an outlet for the frustration of being jobless at the time - Texaco had let me go in November. The first day was brutal and I landed on my ass and face planted more times than I could count. Toward the end of that first day though I strung together a bit of a run here and there - managed to link a turn or two and, man, what a great feeling. I was hooked and immediately got the vibe of it. My enthusiasm for it intrigued my friend Paul and he was hooked soon too. I remember on our first day together at Hunter sitting in the lodge with him and talking about how much we missed by just staying on campus so much at Fordham. Sure it was great, but we were like -- man what a scene we missed!
I've gotten better since that first day and always board, for a while at least, with my uncle Tommy, the now retired ski patroler. He's really good and if I can keep up even a little on my slow ass board its a good thing.
This past weekend we were up in the Catskills visiting the three bears (Eileen, Tommy, Christine) at their weekend ski chalet in Hensonville. The idea was to drive up on Friday, hit the mountain on Saturday and then go to a beach party at some friend of The Bears and then either hit the mountain again on Sunday or just recuperate.
Well, we managed to make it up on Friday in the middle of a snowstorm that miraculously did not stick at all to the ground while we made our way up from Westchester. We hung out and chatted a little bit and watched Riley the bunny jump around a bit. Yeah, that's right - Riley the bunny. Christine wanted a pet, knew she'd get killed for a dog so she got a bunny instead. At first, Riley was Hunny Bunny but then Hunny's ballz dropped and voila - Riley. Don't ask me why. No idea.
Saturday morning comes and Tommy and I head out to the mountain, but not after a bit of confusion as to how we were getting there. Tommy thought we would take my car, I thought we would take their car, since Clarisa was going shopping with Christine and Eileen thought we were going to go with a friend of theirs, Spencer. After a bit of consternation it all works out and we hit the mountain and I get to board for the first time all year (thanks to the sprained foot back in December). No one is on the mountain and its fresh snow. Not powder really, but Eastern Powder and mostly undisturbed. We go right to the top and after a few runs I'm following Tommy and Spencer down some black diamond trails and even hit a trail on Hunter's west side. Did I bomb down, no. But at this point I'm not just turning my board into a big snowplow either. Eventually Tommy ditched me (the token boarder) so he could make some runs on his own at his own pace of 9.81 meters per second squared and spend some time with his large crew of Hunter friends. I make a few runs on my own, get a coffee at the Skytop cafe and head down to chill out on a deck chair because the sun has come out and my legs are asking for a break.
We meet up and get a little nosh afterward and head over around 5pm for the beach party. Man, talk about a party crew. These people dance, drink and just "party" like the 70's never ended. So a fun time with them is always guaranteed. And since we've been hanging out with Tommy and Eileen more, we are starting to get to know their other friends and can actually mingle a bit now. Its really nice. It makes me hope that our crew can get it together like this someday. That would be nice too.
Anyhoo - fat and out of shape I just decided to give it a try. Plus I needed an outlet for the frustration of being jobless at the time - Texaco had let me go in November. The first day was brutal and I landed on my ass and face planted more times than I could count. Toward the end of that first day though I strung together a bit of a run here and there - managed to link a turn or two and, man, what a great feeling. I was hooked and immediately got the vibe of it. My enthusiasm for it intrigued my friend Paul and he was hooked soon too. I remember on our first day together at Hunter sitting in the lodge with him and talking about how much we missed by just staying on campus so much at Fordham. Sure it was great, but we were like -- man what a scene we missed!
I've gotten better since that first day and always board, for a while at least, with my uncle Tommy, the now retired ski patroler. He's really good and if I can keep up even a little on my slow ass board its a good thing.
This past weekend we were up in the Catskills visiting the three bears (Eileen, Tommy, Christine) at their weekend ski chalet in Hensonville. The idea was to drive up on Friday, hit the mountain on Saturday and then go to a beach party at some friend of The Bears and then either hit the mountain again on Sunday or just recuperate.
Well, we managed to make it up on Friday in the middle of a snowstorm that miraculously did not stick at all to the ground while we made our way up from Westchester. We hung out and chatted a little bit and watched Riley the bunny jump around a bit. Yeah, that's right - Riley the bunny. Christine wanted a pet, knew she'd get killed for a dog so she got a bunny instead. At first, Riley was Hunny Bunny but then Hunny's ballz dropped and voila - Riley. Don't ask me why. No idea.
Saturday morning comes and Tommy and I head out to the mountain, but not after a bit of confusion as to how we were getting there. Tommy thought we would take my car, I thought we would take their car, since Clarisa was going shopping with Christine and Eileen thought we were going to go with a friend of theirs, Spencer. After a bit of consternation it all works out and we hit the mountain and I get to board for the first time all year (thanks to the sprained foot back in December). No one is on the mountain and its fresh snow. Not powder really, but Eastern Powder and mostly undisturbed. We go right to the top and after a few runs I'm following Tommy and Spencer down some black diamond trails and even hit a trail on Hunter's west side. Did I bomb down, no. But at this point I'm not just turning my board into a big snowplow either. Eventually Tommy ditched me (the token boarder) so he could make some runs on his own at his own pace of 9.81 meters per second squared and spend some time with his large crew of Hunter friends. I make a few runs on my own, get a coffee at the Skytop cafe and head down to chill out on a deck chair because the sun has come out and my legs are asking for a break.
We meet up and get a little nosh afterward and head over around 5pm for the beach party. Man, talk about a party crew. These people dance, drink and just "party" like the 70's never ended. So a fun time with them is always guaranteed. And since we've been hanging out with Tommy and Eileen more, we are starting to get to know their other friends and can actually mingle a bit now. Its really nice. It makes me hope that our crew can get it together like this someday. That would be nice too.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Good Achey Feeling
While no camel clutches or figure 4 leg locks were applied, as one commenter hilariously suggested, I did manage to make it to 2 (count 'em) BJJ classes in a row. While there was no fanfare or big group hug -- I could tell the guys I know there were happy to see me and it was great to see the familiar faces of my BJJ boudreaus. The workouts were not too bad either, mainly because of the classes I chose to go to. Tuesday nights tend to be medium intensity and the Weds early class is about the same or a bit lower. Fortunately, on the first day I got to work out with Alan, a really big blue belt that put up a fight but let me work at the same time. Its cool when someone is willing to coach you a little bit rather than just crush you. Lets face it, at this point I need coaching.
I ache today, but its a good type of ache that comes from honest effort. Its the thank you your body gives you for actually using it. It could be worse. I could be a massive pile of quivering torn muscle, but I'm not. I guess the time I put in at Crunch helped. Also, in a way, the worst is over because I've overcome the inertia of not going to BJJ / exercising and replaced it with activities (my wife will swear to you they do) make me happy.
Plus, a part of me just loves to kick ass.
I ache today, but its a good type of ache that comes from honest effort. Its the thank you your body gives you for actually using it. It could be worse. I could be a massive pile of quivering torn muscle, but I'm not. I guess the time I put in at Crunch helped. Also, in a way, the worst is over because I've overcome the inertia of not going to BJJ / exercising and replaced it with activities (my wife will swear to you they do) make me happy.
Plus, a part of me just loves to kick ass.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Going back to the mat.
Tomorrow I'm going back to BJJ for the first time since my injury back on December 18th. That's about 2 and a half months, yeah? I've been working out at Crunch and running and all of that and doing the Abs Diet thing -- but nothing really works you out like BJJ and a part of me is dreading my body's reaction.
I know my heart is going to feel like its going to explode in my chest sometime tomorrow. I know I'm out of shape still despite working out at Crunch. I know my body is going to ache and I realize that this is probably not the last time I'm going to be injured doing this. I realize that I'm probably going to tap out a bunch of times. But I need to go back because I love it, and I know that in a few weeks my heart will not want to explode anymore and I'll be back in the groove.
Bottom line - I love to compete. And while BJJ is competition against others to an extent, it really comes down to a competition with yourself. How hard are you willing to work?
I know my heart is going to feel like its going to explode in my chest sometime tomorrow. I know I'm out of shape still despite working out at Crunch. I know my body is going to ache and I realize that this is probably not the last time I'm going to be injured doing this. I realize that I'm probably going to tap out a bunch of times. But I need to go back because I love it, and I know that in a few weeks my heart will not want to explode anymore and I'll be back in the groove.
Bottom line - I love to compete. And while BJJ is competition against others to an extent, it really comes down to a competition with yourself. How hard are you willing to work?
Saturday, February 26, 2005
The Catch Up
Well, seeing as how I'm behind a bit, lets start with last weekend...
The long holiday weekend was spent doing nothing and doing it very well. Well, not nothing mind you - but nothing mentally or physically taxing. Nothing. Its the new slacking. The nothing consisted of:
Friday: A fine dinner at Zanaro's, a new Italian restaurant in White Plains NY. The service was great, the food was good and its just kind of cool eating in the old atrium of a huge 1930's bank. Leaving the place, we noted that Trump is putting up a building right across the street from it. While part of me thinks it would be financially smart and sound to buy a place in there sight unseen, I think we would never be able to pay for it. :-P Its friggen White Plains!!
Saturday: A matinee of Million Dollar Baby. Yep, that's right. I finally wore Clarisa down and we saw it. The bonus was that I managed not to hear about its big plot twist by avoiding all reviews and articles and shutting down any conversations about it. As for the movie itself -- Its a Movie. A Film and as such carries with it the gravitas only Eastwood seems to be bringing these days. Like most great drama's (aka "life issues" movie) MDB is imbued with the complexity, beauty
and strain of relationships. Its amazing how much you can learn about characters in a short time when the filmmaker knows what they are doing. MDB stands in stark contrast to Sunday's fare....
Sunday: We saw Constantine. Somehow, I think the Mad magazine parody of it might be better. Like Clarisa said, "I like this movie better when it was called The Prophecy", specifically referring to Satan's cameo in both those films that elevated them slightly. The thing that makes comic books / graphic novels great issue after issue is not so much the art and not so much the special effects (and face it, there can be TONS - its just extra ink and imagination vs. a roomful of programmers) but the characters. Readers come back for the characters and the style of the art -- which can be likened to a film's cinematography, I guess. A lot of times, it seems that comic based film's can't do the characters justice. Everything is rushed, the exposition is awkward and too long and generally, they just suck. And I hate having to say that.
Monday: Alias DVD viewing interspersed with Desert Combat Blasting -- ah the joys of leaving a game for a bit and coming back to it to find that while there is a new release out, the game has about 1/8th of the servers hosting it that it used to. DC seems to be on the shnide. Regardless, you can't play on all of the servers at once anyway -- so if there's just one available with a good mix of guys that's good enough for me!. The new maps are interesting and added some new twists to things.
So, yeah, the Alias DVD quest continues (just finished season 2!)...Ever since we caught the two hour premier of the Alias this year, we got hooked and decided to get caught up by Netflixing all the previous shows. So now during on any idle block of time that happens to be non Gilmour Girls / One Tree Hill / CSI /Deadwood (you need to watch this just for Al Sweraangen, played with moxie by Ian McShane)/Dead Like Me (another must see) time, we race through season after season and episode after episode trying to catch up with the very active Bristow family. Some odd things happen when you concentrate episodes that are supposed to be a week or weeks apart. One, you start to see all the plot devices revealed in stark Groundhog Day clarity. Lets just say I really did not want to see Sidney and Vaughn meet in that cyclone fence cage again, for one thing. Two, its possible to OD on Jennifer Garner. You just can't take anymore. After three episodes in a row, we get to the point where Clarisa is like a marathon runner unable to stop and I have double over and puke on the side of the Alias DVD highway. Generally, the only solution to an Alias OD is to blast something in Desert Combat. A more productive thing might be to play guitar I guess...
Anyhoo, that was the weekend. The work week was actually a little interesting this time around. I've been helping out one of the programmers with the CSS for some basic layouts. He is resistant to change, but he's getting it and most importantly he's letting me work on it because he knows I'm climbing the walls there. Thing is, when the pages are done...its back to a big case of ennui.
Last night Clarisa came down into the city and we went to see Billy Connolly at The Town Hall. The seats were close up, but way over to the left side so we had a bit of a hard time hearing him at points over the laughter. I guess the sound waves had a hard time making a right angle turn out of the speaker. Regardless, he was funny as hell. He did some bits on getting older and how he pays his kids to tell him if they catch him doing typical old people moves. "Here's 5 quid -- now you tell me if I smell of piss!" He did another bit bemoaning the fate of American cars. "They're all beige! Or, you know, like some beigeish color. You used to have Big Red Cadillacs, Blue ThunderBirds and we loved them. What the fuck did you do to them!?" Stuff like that. Well IT WAS FUNNY WHEN HE SAID IT! After the show we walked around Times Square and checked out the Virgin Megastore for a little while. We came out empty handed because every CD we looked we thought "ah - lets just get what we want on iTunes" and for every DVD we saw, we thought 'We can get it on eBay cheaper". So take that Branson.
Oh and on a side note, yesterday I was in the Suncoast in the Manhattan Mall and saw a Detroit Red Wing Best Of DVD that has games going back from 1996 or so -- and includes the fantastic March 1997 game where all hell breaks loose as Darren McCarty goes after Claude Lemieux for injuring Chris Draper months earlier in the season. I saw that game live and remember screaming and whooping at the TV in bloodthirsty glee as the Wings and the 'Lanche mixed it up old school style. The 40 bucks or so for the DVD is worth it just for that intense game which cemented Detroit vs Colorado as one of the biggest sports rivalries. Man, what a great team Detroit fielded over the years since 1996. And what a shame Stevie Y is probably done for and never got the farewell from the fans he deserved. Here's to you Steve. And while I'm here let me just say,
Bettman you can go fuck yourself for destroying hockey..you SOB!
The long holiday weekend was spent doing nothing and doing it very well. Well, not nothing mind you - but nothing mentally or physically taxing. Nothing. Its the new slacking. The nothing consisted of:
Friday: A fine dinner at Zanaro's, a new Italian restaurant in White Plains NY. The service was great, the food was good and its just kind of cool eating in the old atrium of a huge 1930's bank. Leaving the place, we noted that Trump is putting up a building right across the street from it. While part of me thinks it would be financially smart and sound to buy a place in there sight unseen, I think we would never be able to pay for it. :-P Its friggen White Plains!!
Saturday: A matinee of Million Dollar Baby. Yep, that's right. I finally wore Clarisa down and we saw it. The bonus was that I managed not to hear about its big plot twist by avoiding all reviews and articles and shutting down any conversations about it. As for the movie itself -- Its a Movie. A Film and as such carries with it the gravitas only Eastwood seems to be bringing these days. Like most great drama's (aka "life issues" movie) MDB is imbued with the complexity, beauty
and strain of relationships. Its amazing how much you can learn about characters in a short time when the filmmaker knows what they are doing. MDB stands in stark contrast to Sunday's fare....
Sunday: We saw Constantine. Somehow, I think the Mad magazine parody of it might be better. Like Clarisa said, "I like this movie better when it was called The Prophecy", specifically referring to Satan's cameo in both those films that elevated them slightly. The thing that makes comic books / graphic novels great issue after issue is not so much the art and not so much the special effects (and face it, there can be TONS - its just extra ink and imagination vs. a roomful of programmers) but the characters. Readers come back for the characters and the style of the art -- which can be likened to a film's cinematography, I guess. A lot of times, it seems that comic based film's can't do the characters justice. Everything is rushed, the exposition is awkward and too long and generally, they just suck. And I hate having to say that.
Monday: Alias DVD viewing interspersed with Desert Combat Blasting -- ah the joys of leaving a game for a bit and coming back to it to find that while there is a new release out, the game has about 1/8th of the servers hosting it that it used to. DC seems to be on the shnide. Regardless, you can't play on all of the servers at once anyway -- so if there's just one available with a good mix of guys that's good enough for me!. The new maps are interesting and added some new twists to things.
So, yeah, the Alias DVD quest continues (just finished season 2!)...Ever since we caught the two hour premier of the Alias this year, we got hooked and decided to get caught up by Netflixing all the previous shows. So now during on any idle block of time that happens to be non Gilmour Girls / One Tree Hill / CSI /Deadwood (you need to watch this just for Al Sweraangen, played with moxie by Ian McShane)/Dead Like Me (another must see) time, we race through season after season and episode after episode trying to catch up with the very active Bristow family. Some odd things happen when you concentrate episodes that are supposed to be a week or weeks apart. One, you start to see all the plot devices revealed in stark Groundhog Day clarity. Lets just say I really did not want to see Sidney and Vaughn meet in that cyclone fence cage again, for one thing. Two, its possible to OD on Jennifer Garner. You just can't take anymore. After three episodes in a row, we get to the point where Clarisa is like a marathon runner unable to stop and I have double over and puke on the side of the Alias DVD highway. Generally, the only solution to an Alias OD is to blast something in Desert Combat. A more productive thing might be to play guitar I guess...
Anyhoo, that was the weekend. The work week was actually a little interesting this time around. I've been helping out one of the programmers with the CSS for some basic layouts. He is resistant to change, but he's getting it and most importantly he's letting me work on it because he knows I'm climbing the walls there. Thing is, when the pages are done...its back to a big case of ennui.
Last night Clarisa came down into the city and we went to see Billy Connolly at The Town Hall. The seats were close up, but way over to the left side so we had a bit of a hard time hearing him at points over the laughter. I guess the sound waves had a hard time making a right angle turn out of the speaker. Regardless, he was funny as hell. He did some bits on getting older and how he pays his kids to tell him if they catch him doing typical old people moves. "Here's 5 quid -- now you tell me if I smell of piss!" He did another bit bemoaning the fate of American cars. "They're all beige! Or, you know, like some beigeish color. You used to have Big Red Cadillacs, Blue ThunderBirds and we loved them. What the fuck did you do to them!?" Stuff like that. Well IT WAS FUNNY WHEN HE SAID IT! After the show we walked around Times Square and checked out the Virgin Megastore for a little while. We came out empty handed because every CD we looked we thought "ah - lets just get what we want on iTunes" and for every DVD we saw, we thought 'We can get it on eBay cheaper". So take that Branson.
Oh and on a side note, yesterday I was in the Suncoast in the Manhattan Mall and saw a Detroit Red Wing Best Of DVD that has games going back from 1996 or so -- and includes the fantastic March 1997 game where all hell breaks loose as Darren McCarty goes after Claude Lemieux for injuring Chris Draper months earlier in the season. I saw that game live and remember screaming and whooping at the TV in bloodthirsty glee as the Wings and the 'Lanche mixed it up old school style. The 40 bucks or so for the DVD is worth it just for that intense game which cemented Detroit vs Colorado as one of the biggest sports rivalries. Man, what a great team Detroit fielded over the years since 1996. And what a shame Stevie Y is probably done for and never got the farewell from the fans he deserved. Here's to you Steve. And while I'm here let me just say,
Bettman you can go fuck yourself for destroying hockey..you SOB!
Monday, February 21, 2005
Correction
In my last post, I said I did not condone what Hunter did. While letting that remark stand, I'd also like to clarify what I meant without getting to deep into a very emotionally charged subject with vast religious and philosophical overtones.
In general, I don't condone suicide. I'm pretty sure I'm in agreement with a lot of people when I say that. Its a bad thing and the language we use to talk about it reflects that. Often words like "senseless" and "selfish" and "cowardly" get thrown about when suicide is discussed. Let me say this though - while those words might be applicable in a general sense, not all suicides are created equal and none are the same. Depending on circumstance suicide can be senseless or it can also be a very lucid final act of control, especially when the life you want to live is no longer possible. So, while I don't condone it, I can, in some instances, respect the choice. From what I've been reading, the general take on Hunter's death seems to be the latter - an act of control.
Sometimes I think its a desperate escape. In the summer of 1985 (does my memory fail me?) my friend Dave R. and I found out that a our good friend Dan had killed himself. Dan had moved to the Carolina's with his family months before and he was going to school down there and he had a girlfriend he'd met down there. We were still in school but it was near the end because all of the trees were green and it was really warm out. Dave had got the news from a phone call at school and told me. I remember being shocked and devasted. We just walked out of school, right past the principal who said nothing to us and out into the brightness of the day. We found a six pack and drank in the woods near his house and just talked. I can't remember what about exactly but it was about what you would expect -- ruminations on the meaning of life and just remembering Dan. Later on some details came to us, like how Dan had hung himself in the basement of his house. That he had leaned into the rope and that his knees were almost touching the ground. At any second while he was stil conscious, all he had to do was stand up. He never did. I also heard some rumors about his homelife that were said to be a factor but it was all basically heresay so I can't speak to that. I can't say for Dan what it was - senseless or a choice. The younger you are, the more senseless it seems. There's still potential and the life story is hardly written at 15. Your problems are workable. How horrible to be in a place where you can't see that anymore.
Months later I recalled a brief conversation with Dan. He had already moved and was up visiting for a bit. We had been drinking (go figure that one) and we were hoofing through the woods somewhere from point A to point B and just talking and making jokes and remarks back to one another. Finally I remember Dan had said something that night about killing himself. It was so casual and off the cuff, and we were both so drunk that I just dismissed it right away with "Don't be fucking stupid. There's a lot to live for." and we just continued our night of getting buzzed without thinking about it or talking about anymore. When I finally remembered that conversation, I felt guilty for a while that I had not said or done more. I'm great at blaming myself. Its even probably a little self centered of me to think that I could have made a difference somehow.
Dave and I have since drifted apart for whatever reason and aside for some bad poetry I wrote in college, Dan rarely comes to my mind.
Dave R. - if you are out there and see this, shoot me an email. I hear you are nurse working on a medi-vac helo crew. That's great to hear. So if you feel like it - give me a shout.
In general, I don't condone suicide. I'm pretty sure I'm in agreement with a lot of people when I say that. Its a bad thing and the language we use to talk about it reflects that. Often words like "senseless" and "selfish" and "cowardly" get thrown about when suicide is discussed. Let me say this though - while those words might be applicable in a general sense, not all suicides are created equal and none are the same. Depending on circumstance suicide can be senseless or it can also be a very lucid final act of control, especially when the life you want to live is no longer possible. So, while I don't condone it, I can, in some instances, respect the choice. From what I've been reading, the general take on Hunter's death seems to be the latter - an act of control.
Sometimes I think its a desperate escape. In the summer of 1985 (does my memory fail me?) my friend Dave R. and I found out that a our good friend Dan had killed himself. Dan had moved to the Carolina's with his family months before and he was going to school down there and he had a girlfriend he'd met down there. We were still in school but it was near the end because all of the trees were green and it was really warm out. Dave had got the news from a phone call at school and told me. I remember being shocked and devasted. We just walked out of school, right past the principal who said nothing to us and out into the brightness of the day. We found a six pack and drank in the woods near his house and just talked. I can't remember what about exactly but it was about what you would expect -- ruminations on the meaning of life and just remembering Dan. Later on some details came to us, like how Dan had hung himself in the basement of his house. That he had leaned into the rope and that his knees were almost touching the ground. At any second while he was stil conscious, all he had to do was stand up. He never did. I also heard some rumors about his homelife that were said to be a factor but it was all basically heresay so I can't speak to that. I can't say for Dan what it was - senseless or a choice. The younger you are, the more senseless it seems. There's still potential and the life story is hardly written at 15. Your problems are workable. How horrible to be in a place where you can't see that anymore.
Months later I recalled a brief conversation with Dan. He had already moved and was up visiting for a bit. We had been drinking (go figure that one) and we were hoofing through the woods somewhere from point A to point B and just talking and making jokes and remarks back to one another. Finally I remember Dan had said something that night about killing himself. It was so casual and off the cuff, and we were both so drunk that I just dismissed it right away with "Don't be fucking stupid. There's a lot to live for." and we just continued our night of getting buzzed without thinking about it or talking about anymore. When I finally remembered that conversation, I felt guilty for a while that I had not said or done more. I'm great at blaming myself. Its even probably a little self centered of me to think that I could have made a difference somehow.
Dave and I have since drifted apart for whatever reason and aside for some bad poetry I wrote in college, Dan rarely comes to my mind.
Dave R. - if you are out there and see this, shoot me an email. I hear you are nurse working on a medi-vac helo crew. That's great to hear. So if you feel like it - give me a shout.
Goodbye, Hunter
I was checking the frontpage of www.ntytimes.com last night around 11:15pm or so when I saw a new headline that wasn't there when I checked around 10pm (Its an OCD sort of thing I've developed since 9/11 - check check check the news). And here was a headline telling me Hunter S. Thompson, co-founder of Gonzo Journalism had taken his life. I sat for a second and thought about it and let it soak in.
"Aww no..." I thought. I also immediately thought of my estranged friend Tom who was a bigger Thompson fan than I. At least back when we spoke regularly he was. Anyway, I walked into the bedroom and told Clarisa what I had just read.
"Really? Wow.' She paused and looked briefly at her laptop screen, but saw nothing and looked back up at me. "In way, that makes sense.' she paused again."That's the end of something, isn't it?".
I thought about what she said for a second and I had to agree. I knew what she meant -- that it was more than Hunter that had just died. An age of sorts has passed. The voice of Gonzo Journalism silenced himself and left us to fend for ourselves in this land that I see quietly creeping toward Orwellian prognostications. And how was he supposed to leave this earth? Dying slowly in a nursing home? It just seems to fit that this is how it would end for him. By no means do I condone it and I hope I never face such a choice but it seems to fit, though I'd rather it not.
While not a regular reader, I always found it comforting to know that he was out there doing his thing; thinking bounding thoughts and experiencing things in a visceral way. What's more, I knew that I could, when I wanted, check right in and live vicariously through him for a bit via a column on ESPN's Page 2 or in any of his other writing. His writing is still there, of course, but all of a sudden I'm not as comfortable. Maybe he could appreciate that.
"Aww no..." I thought. I also immediately thought of my estranged friend Tom who was a bigger Thompson fan than I. At least back when we spoke regularly he was. Anyway, I walked into the bedroom and told Clarisa what I had just read.
"Really? Wow.' She paused and looked briefly at her laptop screen, but saw nothing and looked back up at me. "In way, that makes sense.' she paused again."That's the end of something, isn't it?".
I thought about what she said for a second and I had to agree. I knew what she meant -- that it was more than Hunter that had just died. An age of sorts has passed. The voice of Gonzo Journalism silenced himself and left us to fend for ourselves in this land that I see quietly creeping toward Orwellian prognostications. And how was he supposed to leave this earth? Dying slowly in a nursing home? It just seems to fit that this is how it would end for him. By no means do I condone it and I hope I never face such a choice but it seems to fit, though I'd rather it not.
While not a regular reader, I always found it comforting to know that he was out there doing his thing; thinking bounding thoughts and experiencing things in a visceral way. What's more, I knew that I could, when I wanted, check right in and live vicariously through him for a bit via a column on ESPN's Page 2 or in any of his other writing. His writing is still there, of course, but all of a sudden I'm not as comfortable. Maybe he could appreciate that.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
My first Imix
On the last day I ever saw Jenn - she sat down here at this PC I'm at and made a mix to take on her trip out to Oklahoma. I'm not sure it was so much for her as it was for me and a select few others.
Now its for you too. Just go to iTunes and then iMix's and search on "Kitcher" and her tunes will come up.
Now its for you too. Just go to iTunes and then iMix's and search on "Kitcher" and her tunes will come up.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
The New York Times > Opinion > Op-Ed Columnist: No Mullah Left Behind
The New York Times > Opinion > Op-Ed Columnist: No Mullah Left Behind
When I read OP-ED pieces like this one from Tom Friedman, I get really fired up. Go read it. If not, here is the executive summary...By not supporting an energy independence initiative, improving energy conservation, taxing gasoline or demanding increased mileage from Detroit the Bush administration is financing both sides of the war on terror. As the price of oil goes up, the need for economic and governmental reform diminishes and the U.S. energy policy basically becomes "No Mullah Left Behind".
I absolutely advocate energy independence from the mid-east. Energy independence should be this generations moon race. Right after 9/11 Bush could have announced an initiative like what I'm talking about. Instead, we got told to shop. No surprise since Dubya is best friends with the Saudis.
I also agree with Friedman that our nation's campuses are curiously quiet in regards to this issue and, to my mind, the war as well. Where are the idealistic kids?
Despite the lack of support from the administration, some U.S. auto manufacturers have seen the writing on the wall as to the future of oil and are hedging their bets by developing hybrid gas/electric vehicles and hydrogen powered vehicles. Take GM's program for instance which is designed to possibly accelerate what my old friends at Texaco's Strategic Management Group called the Hydrogen future. Since the petroleum present seems to have only another twenty to fifty years left, we would do well as a nation to prepare now for that inevitable change and start building the infrastructure we'll need to support it. The whole world would benefit economically and environmentally.
You think its going to happen when the Bush line of kings is in Washington?
When I read OP-ED pieces like this one from Tom Friedman, I get really fired up. Go read it. If not, here is the executive summary...By not supporting an energy independence initiative, improving energy conservation, taxing gasoline or demanding increased mileage from Detroit the Bush administration is financing both sides of the war on terror. As the price of oil goes up, the need for economic and governmental reform diminishes and the U.S. energy policy basically becomes "No Mullah Left Behind".
I absolutely advocate energy independence from the mid-east. Energy independence should be this generations moon race. Right after 9/11 Bush could have announced an initiative like what I'm talking about. Instead, we got told to shop. No surprise since Dubya is best friends with the Saudis.
I also agree with Friedman that our nation's campuses are curiously quiet in regards to this issue and, to my mind, the war as well. Where are the idealistic kids?
Despite the lack of support from the administration, some U.S. auto manufacturers have seen the writing on the wall as to the future of oil and are hedging their bets by developing hybrid gas/electric vehicles and hydrogen powered vehicles. Take GM's program for instance which is designed to possibly accelerate what my old friends at Texaco's Strategic Management Group called the Hydrogen future. Since the petroleum present seems to have only another twenty to fifty years left, we would do well as a nation to prepare now for that inevitable change and start building the infrastructure we'll need to support it. The whole world would benefit economically and environmentally.
You think its going to happen when the Bush line of kings is in Washington?
Saturday, February 12, 2005
This here is "Faust", aka "Little Guy". He's a rather large kitty at 25lbs, but this bruiser is a lover not a fighter. Clarisa found him under her car tire when he was about 5 weeks old or so. She took him home, gave him a bath and a bottle and I was like, "Can we keep him?!" So we did and now he is so very much Clarisa's cat its sad. Plus he was raised by a Rottweiler so he pretty much thinks he's a dog.
Posted by Hello
Introducing Juilet the Cat, aka Jules Vern. She is a "next to" kitty. That is, she prefers sitting next to you or by you rather than on you. The crinkling of plastic bags frightens the hell out of her, so when its time to put away groceries, its time to traumatize a cat. We've had her since we live with my parents so she's at least 9 or so but she is stil pretty spry.
Posted by Hello
Friday, February 11, 2005
Truly Vanishing James
217.5 lbs 2/4/2005.
212.6 2/11/2005
I figure 10 more weeks to 180-185.
I'm not hungry. I'm eating a lot and I'm definitely getting stronger. Even better, I'm not jacking my cholesterol to the 340 mark it was back when I had been doing Atkins. The AbsDiet is not so much a diet as it is a lifestyle change, and even so, its a pretty easy one at that. If you've been struggling with your weight, yo-yo ing up and down -- check it out.
212.6 2/11/2005
I figure 10 more weeks to 180-185.
I'm not hungry. I'm eating a lot and I'm definitely getting stronger. Even better, I'm not jacking my cholesterol to the 340 mark it was back when I had been doing Atkins. The AbsDiet is not so much a diet as it is a lifestyle change, and even so, its a pretty easy one at that. If you've been struggling with your weight, yo-yo ing up and down -- check it out.
O ato do amor ajustou acidentalmente meu gato beloved no fogo.
AbsDiet story...
One of the recommended snacks on the absdiet is roasted almonds sprinkled with cayenne pepper and I have to say its become a fast favorite of mine. Last weekend I was snacking away all day on aforementioned tasty treat before we started going at it like crazed teenagers. Things were getting really hot and all of a sudden they really got hot. Clarisa recoiled away with an expression on her face that expressed both pain and puzzlement.
"The fucking cayenne pepper!" she said and high tailed it to the bathroom.
I'd never washed my hands...
Milk wound up places I never thought milk would wind up.
She could have been really pissed, but basically she just chalked this up to the fates evening out the scales of sexual justice for the "Pepsi Incident" that was perpetrated years ago.
One of the recommended snacks on the absdiet is roasted almonds sprinkled with cayenne pepper and I have to say its become a fast favorite of mine. Last weekend I was snacking away all day on aforementioned tasty treat before we started going at it like crazed teenagers. Things were getting really hot and all of a sudden they really got hot. Clarisa recoiled away with an expression on her face that expressed both pain and puzzlement.
"The fucking cayenne pepper!" she said and high tailed it to the bathroom.
I'd never washed my hands...
Milk wound up places I never thought milk would wind up.
She could have been really pissed, but basically she just chalked this up to the fates evening out the scales of sexual justice for the "Pepsi Incident" that was perpetrated years ago.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Ponderings
Hello there Internet.
A while back I posted about my aborted attempt to go to the French Culinary Institute (FCI). I'll recap here for those of you who prefer the executive summary...I'd finally decided to become a chef, or at least try. The plan was to borrow the 20K for tuition and finish the part time evening program in 9 months. However, while driving to the FCI to finalize my paperwork I received an untimely call by my boss asking me to come back from wherever I was and fix a Westcon e-Commerce problem combined with a building panic attack on my part caused me to veer off of the FDR and onto the Triborough Bridge. A few hours later after criss-crossing NYC I returned home, much to Clarisa's surprise.
She really wanted me to get back in the car and get back down there and do it, but I wouldn't budge. She really wanted me to do it but the huge worry about the loan and the crappy starting salary and the odd hours all were screaming at me -- THIS WOULD BE A MISTAKE!! How awesome though, that I get that kind of support.
But now I'm thinking about it again. And I'm thinking about it again because I'm unhappy here at Healthology (did not take long at all!!) and when I'm unhappy, I start thinking about cooking school. From a self analytical point of view, a career change in that direction has become my elysian fields. Just do that, and happiness will ensue for the rest of my days. The objective part of me knows this my habit of loving the idea of something more than loving the thing itself. I do love to cook though. And I am good at it and it makes me happy to do it. Its funny how it just snowballs into a desire to turn my life upside down and don the whites and checks. All I need to do is get a pan in my hand and I'm like Sulu with a Rapier all of a sudden. It just changes me when I do it - - I get in a zone and get that same feeling of satisfaction you get from hitting a great golf shot. Maybe my head is making cloudy what my heart makes very clear...
The culinary world aside, the reality is the situation here is not fantastic and I'll need to make some changes soon. Its a workable problem, so I'm trying not to worry about it, and even if it wasn't workable, there is no reason to worry about something that you can do nothing about either, right?
Some possible low cost career transitions I'm thinking about -
Go back to Coldfusion programming and build some apps.
Start doing some creative writing and try to get published.
Going to School of the Visual Arts (SVA) or NYU and take some courses, maybe in film, maybe in advertising and try to move to a company oriented one of those ways and use my previous skillset to leverage my new one.
I know, I know... my main problem is a lack of focus. I am more scattered than the tribes of Israel when it comes to making a decision. Hell, one day I'll be sure I want to be a chef and the next day Madison Avenue might look good. Maybe even in the same HOUR, never mind the same day. Its infuriating to me. My friend, Dennis, of http://www.d2stuff.com/ fame and I joke about it a lot. We take turns making up whacked job listings like "Seeking Coldfusion programmer with liberal arts background, strong grounding in American Philosophy, aesthetics, botany. Must be experienced with Photoshop, Final Cut Pro. Ability to make a killer hollandaise nice to have."
This new job frustration change thing is kind of ironic. I've been reading Anne, Straight From the Hip for a while now and if you know her at all, she was struggling away for a long time with depression and a crappy job at a Barnes & Noble. Finally she got out of there and got a position working for HBO's "The Wire". No sooner was she there then she brought up how there were things that she did not really like it there, or did like it, but felt bad about a bunch of things... I went from a "Good for you! Way to kick ass!" attitude to thinking, admittedly, "No fucking way!! Unhappy already? You gotta be shitting me...suck it up! You were just at Barnes & Noble for chrissakes..."
Now here I am - two months into this gig and climbing the walls wanting a change. Now being that I've served time at soul sucking jobs like Enterprise Rent A Car and CVS/Pharmacies and moved on to better things -- I should be kissing the very ground I walk on in thanks. Everyday should be happiness and light compared to that. And in a way, it is - but as crazy as those jobs made me, not being challenged is also a big turnoff. It just goes to show everything is relative and that once you get something its never as satisfying as having wanted it. Maye Dostoevsky is right and that man loves to build roads and is constantly in a cycle of creation and destruction. I just happen to have a really rapid turnover!.
A while back I posted about my aborted attempt to go to the French Culinary Institute (FCI). I'll recap here for those of you who prefer the executive summary...I'd finally decided to become a chef, or at least try. The plan was to borrow the 20K for tuition and finish the part time evening program in 9 months. However, while driving to the FCI to finalize my paperwork I received an untimely call by my boss asking me to come back from wherever I was and fix a Westcon e-Commerce problem combined with a building panic attack on my part caused me to veer off of the FDR and onto the Triborough Bridge. A few hours later after criss-crossing NYC I returned home, much to Clarisa's surprise.
She really wanted me to get back in the car and get back down there and do it, but I wouldn't budge. She really wanted me to do it but the huge worry about the loan and the crappy starting salary and the odd hours all were screaming at me -- THIS WOULD BE A MISTAKE!! How awesome though, that I get that kind of support.
But now I'm thinking about it again. And I'm thinking about it again because I'm unhappy here at Healthology (did not take long at all!!) and when I'm unhappy, I start thinking about cooking school. From a self analytical point of view, a career change in that direction has become my elysian fields. Just do that, and happiness will ensue for the rest of my days. The objective part of me knows this my habit of loving the idea of something more than loving the thing itself. I do love to cook though. And I am good at it and it makes me happy to do it. Its funny how it just snowballs into a desire to turn my life upside down and don the whites and checks. All I need to do is get a pan in my hand and I'm like Sulu with a Rapier all of a sudden. It just changes me when I do it - - I get in a zone and get that same feeling of satisfaction you get from hitting a great golf shot. Maybe my head is making cloudy what my heart makes very clear...
The culinary world aside, the reality is the situation here is not fantastic and I'll need to make some changes soon. Its a workable problem, so I'm trying not to worry about it, and even if it wasn't workable, there is no reason to worry about something that you can do nothing about either, right?
Some possible low cost career transitions I'm thinking about -
Go back to Coldfusion programming and build some apps.
Start doing some creative writing and try to get published.
Going to School of the Visual Arts (SVA) or NYU and take some courses, maybe in film, maybe in advertising and try to move to a company oriented one of those ways and use my previous skillset to leverage my new one.
I know, I know... my main problem is a lack of focus. I am more scattered than the tribes of Israel when it comes to making a decision. Hell, one day I'll be sure I want to be a chef and the next day Madison Avenue might look good. Maybe even in the same HOUR, never mind the same day. Its infuriating to me. My friend, Dennis, of http://www.d2stuff.com/ fame and I joke about it a lot. We take turns making up whacked job listings like "Seeking Coldfusion programmer with liberal arts background, strong grounding in American Philosophy, aesthetics, botany. Must be experienced with Photoshop, Final Cut Pro. Ability to make a killer hollandaise nice to have."
This new job frustration change thing is kind of ironic. I've been reading Anne, Straight From the Hip for a while now and if you know her at all, she was struggling away for a long time with depression and a crappy job at a Barnes & Noble. Finally she got out of there and got a position working for HBO's "The Wire". No sooner was she there then she brought up how there were things that she did not really like it there, or did like it, but felt bad about a bunch of things... I went from a "Good for you! Way to kick ass!" attitude to thinking, admittedly, "No fucking way!! Unhappy already? You gotta be shitting me...suck it up! You were just at Barnes & Noble for chrissakes..."
Now here I am - two months into this gig and climbing the walls wanting a change. Now being that I've served time at soul sucking jobs like Enterprise Rent A Car and CVS/Pharmacies and moved on to better things -- I should be kissing the very ground I walk on in thanks. Everyday should be happiness and light compared to that. And in a way, it is - but as crazy as those jobs made me, not being challenged is also a big turnoff. It just goes to show everything is relative and that once you get something its never as satisfying as having wanted it. Maye Dostoevsky is right and that man loves to build roads and is constantly in a cycle of creation and destruction. I just happen to have a really rapid turnover!.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
SpikeTV.com | The Ultimate Fighter
SpikeTV.com | The Ultimate Fighter
Mixed martial arts is going mainstream with this reality show. Its a long way from the first UFC in popularity and acceptance. Its cool to see that type of programming coming on. Anyhoo, I had heard of it but not watched it until last night when I accidentally stumbled upon it on Spike (even more coincidentally I got that comment on it in one of the preceding posts). I caught the end of some light heavyweight elimination fight wherein some bald guy got caught with a left right style combo that rang his bell and put him down. I think I saw a tooth fly out, but I'm not sure. It could have been anything. The program looks interesting and its on tonight so I just might catch it. Of course I'll be sizing up the guys and wondering where people in my school stack up against them. I think Renee could do really well in the middle weight, light middle weight category. The guy is really good. Totally mild mannered guy - but when he is on the mat he is something else. The funny thing about Renee, is when you roll against him sometimes -he actually starts to laugh the laugh of someone who is watching someone else realize the futility of their position.
Speaking of which, I plan on making my return to the BJJ academy this week and use the workouts there to compensate for one or two of the weight workouts specified in the ABSDiet. Of course I am a bit apprehensive about getting reinjured but you rolls your dice and takes your chances. At least with the running and workouts I have been doing for the past week I won't be sucking wind too soon into the class. Its funny how fast your body adapts - it can turn to shit and mush in a heartbeat and with just a little effort large improvements can be made. Of course, the beginning of anything is always that way. The challenges are, 1. Getting started 2. Keeping consistent 3. Busting through plateaus. The foot is feeling pretty good and I miss it so I am going back. Plus, I feel better working out knowing its for a purpose - like being able to triangle someone or kimura someone or mata leo someone or just hold my own against someone better / bigger than me. I'm not one to be a gym pretty boy. I am not John Baystow, fitness celebrity type. Speaking of which - I've found out that the cut builds and big muscles don't mean squat unless you know how to use them. I've taken on guys that you would say are in way better shape than me or stronger based on looks and held my own, beat them and yeah, sometimes got tapped out. But the point is that gym muscles are entirely different than BJJ ones. Like most things, if you can fuse it together you are really onto something. Martial arts fusion, fusion cuisine, cold fusion. Its all good.
So, I figure once this week and the next, and then back to a twice a week schedule.
The ABSDiet is going well. I'm kind of winging it now since I have not gone shopping yet - but I've adapted the principles of eating 6 meals a day and making sure that at each meal I eat one or two things that are in the ABSPOWERDIET group. And I am holding off the posting of the "fat James" picture for a bit. At the three week mark I will post it and another photo showing, hopefully, my progress. Then I'll post the 6 week photo. I'm just to self conscious at this point to post something like that without a counter balance. So for now, the Buddha belly stays tucked away.
Mixed martial arts is going mainstream with this reality show. Its a long way from the first UFC in popularity and acceptance. Its cool to see that type of programming coming on. Anyhoo, I had heard of it but not watched it until last night when I accidentally stumbled upon it on Spike (even more coincidentally I got that comment on it in one of the preceding posts). I caught the end of some light heavyweight elimination fight wherein some bald guy got caught with a left right style combo that rang his bell and put him down. I think I saw a tooth fly out, but I'm not sure. It could have been anything. The program looks interesting and its on tonight so I just might catch it. Of course I'll be sizing up the guys and wondering where people in my school stack up against them. I think Renee could do really well in the middle weight, light middle weight category. The guy is really good. Totally mild mannered guy - but when he is on the mat he is something else. The funny thing about Renee, is when you roll against him sometimes -he actually starts to laugh the laugh of someone who is watching someone else realize the futility of their position.
Speaking of which, I plan on making my return to the BJJ academy this week and use the workouts there to compensate for one or two of the weight workouts specified in the ABSDiet. Of course I am a bit apprehensive about getting reinjured but you rolls your dice and takes your chances. At least with the running and workouts I have been doing for the past week I won't be sucking wind too soon into the class. Its funny how fast your body adapts - it can turn to shit and mush in a heartbeat and with just a little effort large improvements can be made. Of course, the beginning of anything is always that way. The challenges are, 1. Getting started 2. Keeping consistent 3. Busting through plateaus. The foot is feeling pretty good and I miss it so I am going back. Plus, I feel better working out knowing its for a purpose - like being able to triangle someone or kimura someone or mata leo someone or just hold my own against someone better / bigger than me. I'm not one to be a gym pretty boy. I am not John Baystow, fitness celebrity type. Speaking of which - I've found out that the cut builds and big muscles don't mean squat unless you know how to use them. I've taken on guys that you would say are in way better shape than me or stronger based on looks and held my own, beat them and yeah, sometimes got tapped out. But the point is that gym muscles are entirely different than BJJ ones. Like most things, if you can fuse it together you are really onto something. Martial arts fusion, fusion cuisine, cold fusion. Its all good.
So, I figure once this week and the next, and then back to a twice a week schedule.
The ABSDiet is going well. I'm kind of winging it now since I have not gone shopping yet - but I've adapted the principles of eating 6 meals a day and making sure that at each meal I eat one or two things that are in the ABSPOWERDIET group. And I am holding off the posting of the "fat James" picture for a bit. At the three week mark I will post it and another photo showing, hopefully, my progress. Then I'll post the 6 week photo. I'm just to self conscious at this point to post something like that without a counter balance. So for now, the Buddha belly stays tucked away.
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