The Catch Up - Adoption Focus

Hey there.

Well, we are on our way to parenthood. Hopefully. Maybe. That is to say we took the first step and went to an international adoption orientation meeting at Spence Chapin. Clarisa drove down after work and I managed to get out of work and schlepp it over to 6 E. 94th Street just in time for the start of the session. We were one of the youngest couples in the group, which figures. It seems that for a lot of people, adoption is the last resort and not the first, like it is with us. In fact, we decided a while ago that we just did not want to go the route of IVF and hormone therapy or what have you. If it happened for us, great. If not, keep knocking boots and hope for the best. Of course, we haven't had any luck and as times gone on adoption just kind of entered into our conversation as something we want to do. Like sfumato said, it's probably going to be the best thing we can do with our lives and that is pretty exciting.

The people at Spence were well spoken and gave a thorough overview of the program - outlining the basics of the process involved with of each country they work with to include time, costs and requirements. Each country has it's own peculiarities and pro's and con's that may or may not make the program that country offers a good fit. From what we learned at the meeting, it looks like our two best options so far are Guatemala or China. Neither are perfect, and no program really is. The requirements vary, the stability of the programs vary, the wait times vary, the fees vary, the age of the child varies, the quality of their environment varies from orphanage to foster home and of course the experiences there vary greatly as well. The available medical history varies as well. A lot of damn variables and one big leap of faith.

Two families were there at the beginning of the meeting to talk about the process, what they went through and answer questions from the group. Coincidentally, one family had adopted a girl from China and the other had adopted a girl from Guatemala. Of course, the stars were the kids - both of whom were just adorable and remarkably patient over the hour they were there.

So, Guatemala or China. China or Guatemala...

Guatemala - the kids are in foster homes, not orphanages and they get monthly medical care. There also is a medical history of the birth mother. The process is pretty smooth, albeit a bit random at times.

China - the kids might have been in a foster home, but probably not. There is no information on the birth mother. Medical care is good and the process is pretty structured and you go through the process with a group of other adoptive parents from Spence-Chapin. Evidentally, there's a hotel over there that is just chalk full of adoptive parents there to take home a baby and lot's of support.

I have no idea how we are going to weigh all of that and come up with a decision. I'm sure at some point it will just occur to us what is right for us and there we'll be.

P00F!