Ramblings from a fevered mind...

I'm sick and on top of that I'm hurt.

Being that I ride the train to work everyday and work with people that do not stay home when they are sick, its no surprise that I'm nursing another head cold. Stay home people! On the other hand, whatever the hell went wrong with my left hip flexor is beyond me. I was fine all day yesterday but when I got up to leave at around 6PM my left hip felt stiff and when I walked my leg felt locked up and a little numb. Once I got home, it got worse and gave me a hell of a time getting to sleep. It still hurts right now, but at least my fever, sore throat and runny nose seem to be in check and I don't feel as drained as I did earlier.

So, I stayed home today and just slept and blew my nose and slept. Of course this happens just when I'm feeling a bit better about things and came up with a weekly diet and exercise plan. I get a little bit of a rhythm going and boom, something always seems to happen. Its not our problems that are so important as how we respond to them, right? Well, right now I'm having one hell of a time, and though I really try to respond positively to challenges like this little bit of discomfort among other things, there is a part of me that wants curl up and take a bath in my frustration, pain and self pity. If you read Death of Salesman or Notes from Underground you'll note its not an uncommon condition in the author's eyes. Like the characters in those works, you play it safe, you observe, you bide your time thinking that there is always tomorrow, or maybe you get hung up on something you can't let go or maybe theres always some excuse not to act. Ultimately, you paralyze yourself.

What a shitty way to go through life.

Fuck Willy Lohman and fuck Dostoevsky's Underground Man. I have things to do and people that count on me.