Rising to the New Year

I thought I might try to write something about the new year. I wanted to write something that said that the past is always with us despite the start of a new year, that we are not in fact starting anew. I wanted to write about hope and pain and our collective struggle to be better. I was thinking about it when I came across this article in the New York Times:

The New York Times > Opinion > Editorial: Rising to the New Year

To quote (well, paraphrase really) James Carville from his cameo in Old School, "That's perfect." Its a great piece of writing. Go read it. Now.

As for me, I definitely do not feel as if I am starting anew today. I still feel the weight of 2004 squarely upon me, squashing me, especially that last quarter from October till now. I know I am still depressed. I know I suffer from a low level depression a better part of the time and I know that its gotten worse since Jenn died. At times, doing the simplest things seems so hard and fruitless. Then, even if I want to do something, I have a hard time sticking with it and easily lose my concentration. My brain says -- "Not interested anymore. Move along or I will fall asleep..."

Its time to talk to my GP and see if there isn't anything that he can do. I remember feeling better and want to be like that if I can again and if that means trying Zoloft or Paxil or some other anti-depressant, I'm willing to do it. Toughing it out and talking it out have not done the job by themselves.

So here we are, Internet. Happy New Year. Or, in the spirit of George Carlin - "Have a moderately pain free year."